


Wisps of Light

by bythewillowfern



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Wicked Powers Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 09:58:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18754123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bythewillowfern/pseuds/bythewillowfern
Summary: "I don't believe you.", he murmured before speaking more firmly,"When you say you love me, I don't believe it."Post-TWP. Ty convinces Kit that he loves him.





	Wisps of Light

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after seeing a post about Kit having emotional issues since nobody he has ever loved has loved him back. I too think Kit will find it difficult to believe Ty loves him in TWP. This popped up in my mind. Hopefully it's not entirely a mess.

"Why are you awake?", Ty asked, gently pulling Kit's fingers into his hands. Kit was sitting at the edge of Ty's bed, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the hardwood floor. He pulled his fingers back, clenching them into fists by his side as he looked out from the window into the starry night. 

"I don't believe you.", he murmured before speaking more firmly,

"When you say you love me, I don't believe it."

Ty drew back, quietly staring at him as he sat rigid and tense. Kit closed his eyes and held his head in his hands, trying to calm his mind. He had known for a long time that what happened three years ago was still haunting him quite literally and figuratively. After spending years convincing himself about how little he meant to Ty, it was more than just difficult to believe Ty loved him. Ty had only confessed to it a week ago, and softly wiped the tears that silently fell from Kit's eyes. After passing the haze of war, all his insecurities were coming to the fore; drowning and suffocating him endlessly. 

"The first time I felt something for you was at that rooftop in London.", Ty's soft voice cut through the silence. Kit looked up to see his eyes glazed over, revisiting the memory they had made all those years ago. It was that thought, of holding Ty in his arms and feeling his hair on his cheeks, that had sustained him for most lonely nights he had spent in the last three years."

"With Livvy injured, I was lost in a whirl of thoughts and fears. I couldn't think or speak clearly. When you held me, I felt the same anchoring sense of pressure that usually accompanies hugging Livvy. The difference was, I felt something else too. It took me a while to understand that the emotion you made me feel, it was safety and warmth. The kind of warmth which made me want to curl into you and never be parted." Ty's cheeks were a bright red, standing starkly against his pale skin. Even brighter was the smile that was pulling at his lips, full of unbidden joy. 

Despite himself, Kit blushed and smiled, feeling a strange constriction in his chest as Ty pulled back both of his hands and held them, running his thumbs over the calloused knuckles. 

"The second time was when we went for a walk at the beach. The moonlight was lighting you up, and you glowed with a happiness I had rarely seen you exude. That was when I realized that I wanted you to stay with me. Indefinitely."

Ty's face turned grave, and his next words were whispered quietly, 

"I only realized I loved you when I had already lost you for good."

Kit felt the words straight to his heart; the pain in them was as clear as crystal. 

"I dreamt of getting you back, of telling you how much I missed you. I dreamt of you hugging me, telling me that you missed me too. It wasn't until I woke up, feeling like something was missing, that I realized how much I wanted it to be real. "

Kit brought Ty's knuckles to his lips, pulling the fingers that rested on his own palm. His words softly pressed into Ty's skin, the syllables spilling delicately across the scar that ran from his wrist. 

"I've spent the past three years telling myself I'm okay. That being nothing to you doesn't matter to me. No amount of delusion can change that they were all lies."

Ty's grip on his hands loosened, and Kit mourned the loss of contact for a moment before arms came to rest on his waist. Ty pulled Kit tenderly towards him and softly kissed his lips; his grey eyes were shining as he spoke.

"I can't undo what I've already done. My mistakes are incorrigible. But, I will spend the rest of my existence showing you what my words cannot always say. There will be times when I'm not receptive of your feelings, times when the past haunts me to the point of forgetting my present. I'll withdraw into my own shell, a refuge from the world that overwhelms me. But even in all those moments Christopher, I will always love you. And I will strive to make sure you know it."

The name Christopher felt strangely intimate rolling off Ty's lips, alien yet comfortable. Kit relished in the warmth of their joined foreheads, felt Ty's fingers splayed over his heart. Felt Ty's lips on his cheeks, a faint press to his eyes, and the soft cradling of his face. He closed his eyes, memorizing the sensation of the soft feather-light kisses planted tenderly onto his face. 

With a final kiss to his forehead, Ty pulled them both into his bed. His arms came around Kit as he enclosed Kit's body with his, enveloping him in the heat he emitted. His lips lingered on Kit's neck, ghosting over the nape before he settled his chin on Kit's shoulder. 

Amidst the soft lulling of sleep, he heard a final whisper, echoing all the love he never thought he would have. And in the same arms that he once dreamt of, he let out a silent murmur. 

_I believe you._


End file.
